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"I was 19 years old at the time, a sophomore going into my junior year of college in school in Oklahoma. I had never had a job applicable to my field of study, which was construction management, and so I was wanting to use my summer for an internship in order to start building that resume. Because I didn’t understand at that time the differences between residential construction and commercial construction, I was open to either—at least from a Career Fair standpoint. This was a Career Fair type of thing—you know, lots of companies, lots of students. I was open to talking to as many companies as possible because I was exploring my field of study.
My very first professional interview was with a residential construction company based out of North Texas, so Dallas area. I’m sure I was very forthcoming about how 'unqualified' I was because that certainly was my M.O. at the time—letting people know how unqualified I was, so I could protect myself against hearing it from them. I was an architecture major at the time as well—so, trying to leverage that package as, 'hey, I’m someone who is interested in design and also construction, and this is sort of who I’m trying to become and explore these two fields/industries.'
I don’t remember anything about the interview other than the fact that the individual that was interviewing me—who, in my mind today looking back, I probably thought he was in his 40s at the time, but knowing what I know now, he was probably in his 30s—either way, it’s a grown man. And some sort of individual that is, not an HR person, but is connected to the university and connected to a company that is looking for summer interns.
But for whatever reason, he pointed out to me that I was minority in the field, which, yes, I completely understand that construction can be viewed as ‘blue-collar’ or manual labor, but again, knowing what I know now, the role of construction management is business—contracting, contract negotiations, it’s coordinating a lot of varying trades, it’s business acumen. It’s not the actual manual labor part of it— which, even if it were, what does this individual know? For all he knows, I can carry my weight.
So, he felt the need to point out to me that I was a minority, and then he continued to go on about how they had this policy within the organization that did not permit relationships. He gave an anecdote about how there were two individuals within the organization that had formed some form of relationship and they were getting married, and that one of them was leaving. And I’m almost certain now that it was the woman, there’s only so many details about it so I don’t want to be dramatic, but my takeaway now, 12-15 years removed from it is—what does it matter at 19 years old, for a 12 week internship for an hourly rate—what was the purpose of that conversation? You know?
And I do remember feeling like, 'something about this is wrong,' but I didn’t know—you know, I’m in a vulnerable position. I’M the one that needs this internship, I’M the one that doesn’t have anything qualifying about me, and I’m thinking that an internship is going to give me what I need.
So then, going into my second interview of the day, the second time I had ever had a professional interview, the first words out of my mouth were, 'I know I’m a minority, BUT…' So I had given that individual more power than he ever deserved, and then felt as if I was a lesser candidate from the pool that they were choosing from. And, thankfully, I remember being reassured by that second interview, that as soon as I said that, the guy interviewing me said, 'no you’re not, and that’s not what this is about,' and I felt immediate relief with that. I was again, convincing them that I was not worthy of the job—the first time because I felt I didn’t have enough experience, and the second was because I couldn’t because I was a female."